In and Out of Tongues (Illustrated)

Being without computer unexpectedly, the self-proclamation of my own return to being back to form was stated prematurely. That said, the In Tongues Illustrated book release went just fine.

Now it's off to SPX this weekend. Then I'll conquer the world.

In the meantime and in between time, here's some things that have been keeping this old boy from being too lonely:

Dark City: the Lost World of Film Noir by Eddie Muller. I scored a cheap second hand copy of this book that I had borrowed from both our own JSH and the Downtown Lexington Library so much that the old lady, when I bought it, already thought I owned it. Certainly, it's been a crime that I haven't had this on ye olde book shelf. This is one of the best guides through the terrain we call film noir what has been writ. Eddie Muller knows his stuff, and this is the right dark alley to stumble in and jump-start a film noir habit. If you're already an old noir-hand, the illumination in the night that Muller provides will light the way to further avenues to explore. Beyond the top-notch writing, just looking at the book works, as it functions as an art book unto itself, sans the writing.

The Comics Journal is the central place in print to go to read up on funny books. Somebody's got to do it, and, lucky for us, Gary Groth, Kim Thompson & Co. have got it covered. Call 'em pretentious, call 'em elitists, call 'em assholes, call 'em misguided...but more often than not, they're the only ones who have the brass to tell it like it is, even when they miss the mark. I dug out a big stack of old Journals recently and have been revisiting a whole mess of interviews with artists and reviews of books past.

I got limited time, folks. Expect more transmissions from agent JTD when I get my grubby paws on a computer at home again.

--JTD

Another Dark Night of the Soul

As you may know, two-thirds of Louisville was without power yesterday and today. Mine's back on, but LG&E says some people may not get theirs turned on for ten more days.

Outside was madness. It was like the end of the world in the streets, as crazed humans drove like idiots without street lights to guide them. You could smell a real and palpable panic in the public as they gradually realized that NOTHING was open, no supermarkets, no gas stations, no nothing. The whole thing felt like a dress rehearsal for the real socio-economic collapse that is on the way.

Aside from the fact that I lost some gelato and other spoilable items in the freezer and fridge, I actually enjoyed the blackout. It was nice for once to not be bathed in electrical noise, electromagnetic radiation, cellphone tower radiation, alternating current brainwave interference, etc. The full moon was gloriously incandescent without the smothering light pollution of the city.

I felt relieved being in a total absence of electricity, so much so that I would gladly, given the chance, do the same thing Snake Plissken does at the end of Escape from L.A..

--JSH

Sniffing the Future

Hear ye! Hear ye! Now hear this, all Transylvania Gentlemen in this part of the galaxy. What I am about to tell you, friends, will turn your whole world upside-over and spank it. Pick up what I'm puttin' down. Dig.

There is something that will, like those old banned coffee commercials used to say, calm you down and pick you up at the same time. Once you try it and get used to its peculiar ways, you may never want to smoke a cigarette again. (Except occasionally, for old times sake, like dropping in on an old lover at midnight for a quickie.)

This stuff will intoxicate you when you want to be intoxicated, and it will sober you up when you're drunk. It will enhance your sex life, make you a clearer thinker and a better driver, and some say it even improves your vision. Best of all, it's completely legal and not likely to be made illegal anytime soon.

So what the heck is this miracle substance? Behold, ladies and gentlemen, I bring you: SNUFF.

No, not snuff as you may be thinking of it. Y'see, in America "snuff" has come to be synonymous with "dip", those round cans of Skoal and Copenhagen that permanently wear rings into the back pockets of many a good ol' boy. These are moist and coarsely ground inferior tobaccos with minty flavor added, and you're to take a pinch and stick it between your cheek and gum and suck on it and spit it out and repeat the process, until pus-filled ulcers appear. This common man's pleasure is foul and not for you and I, friends.

The real snuff mostly comes from Europe and is an extremely finely ground (literally turned to a fine powder) blend of high-quality tobaccos, some with flavors and some natural. Real snuff is sniffed, hence the name. It's an ancient art going back to, some say, pre-Colonial South America. All great men in European history partook. So did America's founding fathers like Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson. Much of the deciding moments in the world's history were made by snuffsters. Not surprisingly, snuff use dwindled to almost nothing in the last century, except for a few old-fashioned gimps who knew something the rest of you didn't know.

So how do you get started? Don't bother looking in local smokeshops for it. Almost no one behind the counter in smokeshops will even know what you're talking about. You have to order it online, and I would recommend you jump in anywhere with Wilsons, McChrystal's, Toque, Fribourg & Treyer, or Honest Scotch Snuff.


Not only is a snuff buzz superior to that of cigars and cigarettes, smoking bans do NOT apply to it. So rejoice, fellow louts, a new day dawns for our recreational and spiritual self-medication! (Not that I'm about to give up cigars - not by a long shot - but snuff is a totally different kind of experience, and they accentuate each other.)

How do you sniff it? Well, very carefully. You're not actually snorting it, for the most part. You want to take a quick hard but short sniff of it, short enough that it stays mostly in the back of your nose and sinus. You will sneeze the first couple times you do it, so be prepared for that and just persevere. You'll soon get used to the sensation and the oh-so-pleasant buzz.

But isn't snuff bad for you? Well, duh. But hell, sniffing powdered pure tobacco is safer than ingesting burnt tobacco into your lungs, or holding it pressed for hours against your tender gums just begging for instant mouth cancer. Besides, as Brian Setzer so wisely and rhetorically asked, "How long you wanna live, anyway?"

- - JSH

Dark Night of the Soul

Yeah, I've been on a journey, a vision quest, a dark night of the soul. Was that three things? Anyway, a dark night of the soul that was many nights. A lost weekend that stretched over many weekends, full weeks, a couple or three months. Both in states sober and drunk. With only Samurai Jack cartoons to keep me warm.

I enter into evidence the above photo, taken by Sarah Woodward on the 4th of July. This was taken moments after I'd brushed my teeth with my fingers, which I don't rightly recall, and not too long before I took off on foot, bottle of Johnnie Walker Red tucked under my arm...which I don't rightly recall...at least I don't recall anything until I popped out of my drunken coma, realizing I'd done a zombie-sleepwalk-stroll miles into the unknown and away from what would have been my intended(?) destination(my house).

That blank stroll into the unknown, sans not just unknowing but sans all words, I have been repeating in various forms, with this seeming naught to communicate to the outside world. Well, kids, I'm back. Back with a book to peddle (well, okay, the book was done before this, but setting up the book release party and promotion was completed upon my emergence from the darkness). Check out the relevant info on my sketchbook blog, Covertly and by Snatches.

Expect me to resume business as usual around these parts with continuing reports. But if you see me on the dark side of the street with that blankly haunted look on my face...well, you know what's happened...

- - JTD