Monday, April 14, 2008

Who'll watch the Watchmen?

Ten reasons the new Watchmen film will be a massive load of fail:

  • The Night Owl is supposed to be nerdly and looks studly instead.
  • Ozymandias is supposed to be studly and looks nerdly instead.
  • Alan Moore demanded to have his name disassociated with it in any way, shape or form, even at the expense of losing a fortune in royalties. He hates it that much.
  • The lame and unrealistic way the street graffiti looks in the advance photos. I don't care how realistic the backlot street sets are, the fraudulent graffiti ruins the effect.
  • The Silk Spectre isn't supposed to have ridiculously long hair.
  • Superhero costumes with hyper-accentuated abdominal muscles built into the suit are retarded. They were retarded in the original Batman movie and they're ten times more retarded and played-out now. No film featuring fake super-abs on costumes can ever be taken seriously. Now you can't say you haven't been told.
  • You can't force ten hours worth of plot into two and expect it to not suck. (Ask Erich Von Stroheim about that)
  • They took David Hayter off the project.
  • They changed the ending.
  • Dr. Manhattan isn't naked.

    As Dostoevsky used to say, "What the fuck".

    - - JSH
  • 1 comment:

    J.T. Dockery said...

    "These monkeys don't know what buttons to push."