Monday, November 17, 2008

Chinese Democracy

This is an exciting time to be alive, and I'm sure you'll agree. This November, all Americans can be proud that we all lived to see such an awe-inspiring and truly historic achievement.

Obama's election? Yeah, yeah, that's cool, but naw, man, I'm talking about something that we all truly never ever thought would come to pass in a million years: the release of the Guns 'n Roses Chinese Democracy album.

  • 1993: Axl reports a new GnR song is in the works, called "This I Love".

  • 1994: GnR begins recording a new album as the follow-up to 1993's The Spaghetti Incident, but sessions are problematic because everyone has come to despise Axl.

  • 1996: Recording sessions still going on. Slash quits.

  • 1997: Recording sessions still going on. Duff quits. Matt Sorum quits.

  • 1998: With an all-new band lineup, Axl starts all over again with recording the album. Geffen Records gives Axl a $1 million advance on it, expecting it will be released by 1999.

  • 1999: The album never materialized, though Axl swears it's coming "any day now".

  • 2000: Buckethead joins the band, and old parts of the album that have been sitting in the can for years must now be re-recorded to include Buckethead. By this time, most fans have given up on the album and it becomes one of the biggest jokes in rock and roll.

  • 2002: The band goes on hiatus from recording and touring.

  • 2004: The band returns to action, but Buckethead abruptly quits. Axl blames Buckethead's departure for the delays of the album.

  • 2006: Still no album. Bumblefoot joins the band.

  • 2007: The band announces the album is finally finished, but no release date is given. The "Chinese Democracy Tour" rolls out, even though there is no album to support.

  • March 2008: Still no album. Thinking it's a safe bet it'll never happen, Dr. Pepper announces it will give a FREE can of Dr. Pepper to every person in America if the band releases the album before 2008 is over.

  • October 2008: It's official: the new album Chinese Democracy will FINALLY see the light of day on November 23, 2008. And surprisingly, "This I Love" still made the track listing after all these years.

    And it'll probably suck.

    Oh well. But Dr. Pepper has announced they're going to keep their promise. Yee-haw!

    - - JSH

    Anonymous said...

    It is like if Ed Hieronymus was to release a new chapbook of pomes.

    Anonymous said...
    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
    Anonymous said...
    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.