Thursday, August 13, 2009

Platinum 7x

I've written here before about what I consider to be a great cloud of myth cloaking the truth about vodka - namely, that there really isn't much variance in it, unlike bourbon. And, therefore, it doesn't make a whole hell of a lot of difference, taste-wise, whether you buy top-shelf zillion-dollar snob vodka or bottom-shelf bum brands.

Platinum 7x is a testament to my position that quality vodka need not be expensive. I paid a mere ten bucks for this beautiful cobalt blue triangular bottle.

See, the key to a good vodka experience lies in the number of distillations. Vodka snobs may scoff at bottom-shelf brands like Smirnoff, but hey - Smirnoff is actually triple distilled, which is more than I can say for a lot of top-shelf vodkas that rely more on glitzy packaging and marketing than quality.

Exhibit A, ladies and gentlemen, Platinum 7x, is seven times distilled. Put that in your beak and smoke it, Grey Goose.

The more you distill an alcohol, y'see, the smoother it gets with each successive purification. Best of all, you get a progressively lower congener count, which means lessened likelihood of a hangover. Last night, I drank eight martinis made with Platinum 7x and this morning I feel great. Remember my words, young Jedi, next time you party on Absolut and then wake up feeling like dirt.

Another thing that interests me greatly about Platinum 7x is that it's made from corn, which, some might say, technically makes it moonshine. According to their website:

Platinum 7X is distilled seven times from American corn. Four distillations are carried out in column stills with the remaining three distillations being made in a special pot still at Buffalo Trace Distillery. Limestone water is added to bring the vodka to bottling proof.

Buffalo Trace? Wait, what? Yep - not only is this vodka technically moonshine, it's bonafide Kentucky moonshine at that: Platinum 7x is owned by Sazerac, which is the parent company of the Buffalo Trace Bourbon Distillery in Frankfort, KY.

And I say to myself, what a wonderful world.

- - JSH


Melissa said...

I suggest that the demands of THIS Spirit of the Kentucky soil may be to be shared with other Transylvania Gentlemen, honorary and otherwise. :-)

Thank you for an educational and entertaining review!

Anonymous said...

Never had the Platinum but I'm not sure about the need to distill a vodka seven times! It sounds like overkill to me but I will try it. I mostly agree with you but it has to be said, there are some vodkas that are so f'n nasty I won't drink them. and Sazerac makes one of the worst offernders too, it's called Crown Russe.

Anonymous said...

Of course now that you've told people that it's moonshine, the authorities might want to shut it down.

I haven't had vodka since the night I got drunk on it at my dad's house over a decade ago after eating LJS wraps and started convulsively throwing up all over a brand new leather couch and then proceeded to fall asleep with contacts in my eyes only to wake up with a burst blood vessel in one of my eyes. Good times.

Anonymous said...

Still looking for it around Warsaw Indiana, It is probably sold in Russia. I WILL FIND IT though!