Sunday, February 20, 2011

Crap of the Ages II

Though my DVD collection of Hollywood's crap of the ages is large enough that I could easily take them down to my fallout bunker and watch them exclusively from now till doomsday, my inquiring mind and roving eye always craves more. Because more is always better than less.

We won't always have the internet to provide us with digital giggles, so I try to put it to good use by watching some of these glorious cobweb-encrusted old films on der YouTube. And let me tell you, friend, it's a bottomless pit. Just in a quick cursory glance, I see the following publlic domain films uploaded in full for the viewing pleasure of freaks like you and geeks like me:

The Blancheville Monster
Unknown World
Fog Island
Man with a Camera
Blonde Ice
Night of the Living Dead
The Duke is Tops
Gulliver's Travels
In the Year 2889
Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
The Woman In Green
Secret Life of Hitler
Nanook of the North
Snows of Kilimanjaro
Frankenstein (1910)
Under Capricorn
White Zombie
Phantom from Space
Hot Rod Girl
The Sundowners
The Hitch-hiker
Wizard of Oz (1910)
Thief of Bagdad
Escape from Sobibor
Killer Shrews
Horrors of Spider Island
The Stranger
Road to Bali
Million Dollar Weekend
The Lodger
Dominique is Dead
Plan 9 from Outer Space
Mr. Wong, Detective
Scream Blacula Scream
He Walked By Night
Swing High, Swing Low
Dementia 13
Sting of Death
My Favorite Brunette
The Demon Barber
The Big Bluff
The Vampire Bat
Birth of a Nation
Son of Kong
Prison Break
How Awful About Allan
Black Dragons
Reet Petite and Gone
The Corpse Grinders
Snake People
The Red House
Shaolin Invincibles
Bucket of Blood
The Manster
Sisters of Death
The Snow Creature
Cult of the Cobra
Screaming Skull
Black Sunday
Wasp Woman
A Study in Scarlet
Lady Frankenstein
The Ape Man
Death Rides a Horse
Dressed to Kill
Submarine Base
Blood on the Sun
Mr. Arkadin
The Crawling Hand
She Done Him Wrong
Terror is a Man
Mystery Liner
The Blue Angel
Phantom of the Opera
Child Bride

Murder on Campus
Triumph of the Will
Night Tide
Desperate Cargo
Godzilla vs. Gigan
Five Minutes to Live
Abraham Lincoln
The Devil's Partner
The Great Gabbo
Fear in the Night
Beat the Devil
Carnival of Souls
The Bigamist
Hi De Ho
One Eyed Jacks
Bride of the Monster
Dead Men Walk
The Last Mile
A Walk in the Sun
Lost World
Nude on the Moon
Murder by Television
Swamp Women
Man with the Golden Arm
Ghost Train
Last Man on Earth
The Devil Bat
Theatre of Blood
Something Weird
Behind Green Lights
Guest in the House
Please Murder Me
Meet John Doe
Conquest of Space
Fear Chamber
I Eat Your Skin
A Farewell to Arms
The Payoff
36 Crazy Fists
Destination Moon
The Opium Connection
Hero of Rome
Beware the Blob
Gruesome Twosome
Devil's Island
House on Haunted Hill
The Skin Game
Animal Farm
Butterfly Ball
Mondo Balordo
Trader Hornee
2000 Maniacs
Godmonster of Indian Flats
Savage Lagoon
Fire Over England
Broadway to Cheyenne
Jail Bait
Fighting Caravans
The Third Man
Alice in Wonderland
The Big Combo
The Limping Man
Hideous Sun Demon
The Choppers
Diary of a Nudist
Countess Dracula
Indecent Desires
The Violent Years
Deadwood 76
Hell in Normandy
Women in the Night
Castle of Fu Manchu
She Gods of Shark Reef

And that's just the tip of the iceberg! There are hundreds, maybe even thousands of free retro-cheese movies watchable in their entirety on Youtube. It's a good time to be on this planet.

Someday the bugs who run things will look back and marvel that one could endlessly watch the crap of the ages for FREE on youtube. No need for television, RedBox, NetFlix, or your local video store - to say nothing of the rapidly endangered movie theater.

But enjoy it while you can, gentlemen, because this "internet" fad won't last forever. Mark me.

- - JSH

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