Drink Up, Last Call

I never say "I told you so", and I don't like people who do. Having said that:

One month ago, I here predicted that a new prohibition of alcohol will be the next agenda of enemy agents, now that tobacco is effectively being fast-tracked out of existence. And now, the World Health Organization has issued the most damning indictment of alcohol that I've seen from such a prominent global agency in recent memory. (It also doesn't help that Reuters, who published the above-linked article, seems all too happy to buy into the WHO's anti-partying party line, and gives maximum spin to the meaningless datum that "alcohol kills more people than AIDS or TB".)

The WHO insists that the governments of all the world's nations take greater measures to crack down on "alcohol abuse", which by their definition seems to consist of anything more than a glass of wine with dinner. Their recommendations also include "higher taxes on alcoholic drinks and tighter marketing restrictions". Well, isn't that just ducky.

I told you so.

Says here, "Alcohol is a causal factor in 60 types of diseases and injuries" and "Its consumption has been linked to cirrhosis of the liver, epilepsy, poisonings, road traffic accidents, violence, and several types of cancer, including cancers of the colorectum, breast, larynx and liver."

Right. Uh, "violence"? Could you be any more vague?

Is there anything these putzes don't think alcohol is a "causal factor" in? Hell, by that logic, let's just go ahead and link the 9-11 tragedy to alcohol too, since they did serve it on the planes. And automobile accidents also caused more deaths than AIDS and TB, so why don't we just ban cars and be done with it?

(I'm hyperbolically joking, of course, but I probably shouldn't, because Google is working on a fully automated car system that takes all decisions out of the driver's hands. Because the car's instructions will come from some supercomputer in Mountain View, CA, things will be "much safer" than if we continue to allow people to drive their own cars. And these robot cars have a better carbon footprint "because the vehicles would choose to drive the more efficient roads sussed out by its software". It'll be a fun toy at first, but I promise you, it will very quickly become mandatory, and the people pushing for it the most will be not the conservatives, but the liberals. Up is down. Black is white.)

Fortunately, these are not quite as dark times for the rebellion as they seem. As long as upright (or not) citizens like the goodly Thomas Paines at Modern Drunkard continue to fight the good fight, I sleep better at night.

But that doesn't mean Paul Revere isn't going to start riding again sooner or later, bearing a keg of rum like a St. Bernard crossing the tundra. and I hope Lady Godiva rides shotgun this time.

- - JSH