Tweeting About Eating

I've heard a couple of different people complain lately about how some use Twitter mainly to talk about eating, drinking, and shopping. Struck me funny, because that's what I mainly use it for myself. I mean, hell, it's supposed to be microblogging, and there's not much else useful you can do with it besides "tipsy texting" (as Karissa calls it).

Ever read Andy Warhol's diaries? I love that book. For the most part, it's hundreds of pages that basically amount to retellings of what clubs he went to last night, what restaurant he ate at last night, what he had to eat and drink, and how much it cost. And being a food-oriented sensualist, that's precisely the sort of voyeurism I like. I don't care about your love life (not unless you wanna go into salacious details), what mundane gossip or petty drama is going on with your friends, how sucky your job is or what an ass your boss is. I don't want to know about your rent problems or your parental problems or how your Uncle Rupert is laid up with the gout, nor do I want to know how much you cried at last week's episode of Ugly Betty.

No, what I want to know is, what are you consuming?

Where do you buy your groceries? What bar were you in last night? What bar are you in right now? What're you drinking? Did you go home with anyone last night? What did they eat and drink? Did you go through their kitchen while they were in the bathroom and find out what kinda cereal they eat? Had any good steak lately? Oysters? Martinis? Cigars? Where you shoppin'? Whatcha buyin'? Good food? Good DVDs? Good wine? Good books?

These are the subjects that are relevant to me in life. Shallow? Of course it is. But Tweeting - and all blogging in general, including this very one - is supposed to be self-indulgent crap. Welcome to the internet.

So.... where'd you go for lunch today? Huh? Huh?

- - JSH