Saturday, March 26, 2011

Chicken Lit

I got the latest edition of Poultry Tribune in the mail today from Interzone, and I'm glad I subscribed. There's a lot of handy information and useful tips in the ever-burgeoning world of beakiness, which, you all know me, I have a keen interest in.

Plus, I dig the graphics. And as with any periodical, the ads are always the best part.

I'm looking forward to sending off for some of these amazing offers, like the "Little Fat Friend" Piggy-Wiggy Slicing Board, a piece of cutting-edge technology that I'm thrilled to be getting in on the ground floor with.

I'm intrigued by this "Eggzit" device. I may get some to give out as gifts to the special women in my life. I know they'll be thrilled by its promise of "No cannibalism!" and that its wires are coated in GENUINE PLASTIC! I hate that imitation plastic, man, it's a real drag.

I've learned that cannibalism is actually a big problem these days in the poultry world. I did not know that. See, the things you learn when you read.

I recognize the artwork in this ad for "Gran-i-Grit" to be that of a young up-and-coming artist named Theodor Geisel. Take a tip from me, pals, this guy's gonna go places someday.

All this talk about birds is makin' me hungry; time to hit the grill and fry some.

Friend, you'd do well to subscribe to Poultry Tribune and get wise, if you want to be a poultry man. That's some ambition. And it's engrossing reading even if you're not ready to keep a coop on your stoop. When the gals come over to your bachelor-pad plantation and see a copy of this on your kidney-shaped coffee table right next to your pipe stand and your Alma Gluck CDs, man, you're gonna score like never before.

- - JSH

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