Friday, March 25, 2011

Cholula's Waterloo

Don't put this lime on the coconut. You all know me, and I'm a Cholula man through and through. I put it on steaks, chops, ribs, chicken, french fries, burgoo, cheetos, chocolate merengue pie, Reese's Cups, Tic-tacs, anything humans can consume. But I gotta say my ol' girl Cholula made a bad play when she rolled out this here "Chili Lime" variant awhile back.

Lime is a funny thing. Lime is a very peculiar item. Unlike its sister Lemon, it doesn't adapt well to being used as a flavoring in a pre-processed savory commercial product.

(Note I say savory, as opposed to sweet. But actually, what we call "lime" when it comes to popsicles and Jarritos isn't really lime flavoring at all. Close your eyes and do a blind taste test and you will see - candy/soda "lime" is some whole other flavor entirely, but we've grown up associating this para-lime with lime just because we were told to. Same goes for what passes for grape in candy and soda - it bears little or no resemblance to biting into a fresh grape.)

But I digress.

Cholula Chili Lime, yeah. It no good. It really fail. Don't eat it, folks, y'hear? There's an overwhelming metallic taste to it that I've tried and tried to deal with; I've had this bottle awhile and I've been flogging my mind, trying to get it into some new position where it likes this stuff but it's a no-go.

I keep limes around the house at all times anyway, since they're at the core of my beloved Cuban cuisine. If you want Chili Lime Cholula, kids, just do like Col. Holland and mix 'em up fresh on the plate. Fresh is better than not-fresh, anyway, because I find it's... fresher.

- - JSH

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